he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
