He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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