why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
