new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
