I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
