PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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