I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize