I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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