I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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