i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
