i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
