I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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