When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
