I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
