for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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