It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
