youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
