Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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