Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
