He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
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she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
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Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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