it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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