I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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