If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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