its not stalking. its research.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
