I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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