If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
