Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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