Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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