Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
