don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I want her autograph on my taint
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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