Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm getting married
To pizza
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
