Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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