Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
