my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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