Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
