Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
