when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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