Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
