Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize