After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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