I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
