Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
