I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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