Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
where am i from again
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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