I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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