i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
