I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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