If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
