Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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