just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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