i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
