im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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