omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
