just come out here and I will go home with you...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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