My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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