Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Let's get the cat blown out
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
