wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
this boner is exhausting
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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