Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
