I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
