fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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