i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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