no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
